The difficulty of living simply

Recently my husband and I have been thinking about living more simply. From my perspective it comes from realizing that I have too much choice in my life it’s come to stress me out. I’ve written before about decision fatigue which is something I am still learning to manage. My husband is realizing that we just keep getting more stuff, more books (which we love), more things and we have limited space in our 5 1/2 downtown Montreal. When it comes time for us to get a bigger place we want it to be because of a growing family, not because of growing stuff.

I recently leafed through Organized Simplicity by Tsh from Simplemom.net and found it pretty refreshing. Once we get back home from living in suitcases all summer, I’d like to take some time to start giving stuff away starting with another clothes swap (and promise myself I wont take anything unless it’s a MUST).

I posted a question on Facebook to see if people had any helpful suggestions from my friends about how to manage this. In my mind it’s not just about the stuff I have, it’s also about paring down my life to fit in more of the things I want to do and require a lot less mental energy to do it.

Working full-time while being a whole person with likes and dislikes and hobbies and friends and a husband is hard even when your husband does as much work around the house as you do!

As I read some of those responses they were all mostly helpful but I realized none of them were addressing my real problem entirely. Some shared that they had anxiety over a scarcity mentality, as if if they gave away their things they could never get something like it back. I totally get that perspective. But more real is this question:

How do learn to want less? How do I learn to care less about things that are being marketed to me as important?  Why do I want ALL THE THINGS?

want-all-the-thingsI talk about changing habits often on this blog but I rarely talk about changing hearts and desires. One does not simply just change one’s own heart. I know wanting certain things isn’t bad necessarily. In this case, sometimes I think the underlying want in my life is controlling and driving my decisions which is dumb.

This essay entitled “It’s Not Me, It’s the Mall” and a few other articles (that I’ll post later) lead me to believe that this problem of the ‘tyranny of choice’ isn’t just affecting a few of us.

Practically, since I am living out of a suitcase this summer, I’ll have an easy go of it: anything left in my drawers at home by the end of the summer is gone. Anything I didn’t wear regularly this summer in my suitcases is gone. Simple? Probably not. It will likely be embarrassingly difficult. But it’s a start.

“Keep Your Goals To Yourself”

“What are your goals for your summer?” a group of us were asked with regards to this summer. A coworker replied, “I’m not telling,” and shared this video. I wanted to share it with you for the sake of discussion.

While I see where he’s coming from (research and science do have sway, that’s for sure), I’m naive enough to believe that I’ve averted this problem by sharing extensively about the journey of getting to my goals. I can see how this is probably true for a lot of people, though.

What did you think? I’d love to hear if you agree, mostly agree, disagree and why. Share in the comments.

The “Get The File Out” Principle

nike-free
My first run with my Nike Frees I got at a glorious deep discount at an outlet last week.

Monday morning I was scheduled for a run. When I woke up, I could tell from the way the house was lit up that the sky was grey. I did not want to go for a run. Thankfully, the day before I had done some research for my ebook and found another helpful productivity principle Mark Foster blogs about called the Get The File OUT (GTFO? uhhh…)  Principle. It’s simple genius and it’s the reason I made it out the door on my run.

It works like this: I don’t want to go for a run this morning. “Why don’t I just at least [next action] get my glass of water,” I reason with myself. That seems simple enough. At that point I have the opportunity to give up, or move on to the next action. With my water in my hand I said to myself, “Why don’t I just make my small pre-run carby breakfast.” While my gluten free waffles were in the toaster, I cajoled myself into putting on my running gear. “I’ll just put them on. I can still decide not to go.” I felt pretty determined in my lack of desire.

But I won! Simply because the Next Action didn’t seem all that frightening. Looking at the whole picture: get hydrated, get food in my belly, change, get out the door — it all felt like a production I didn’t want to orchestrate. Yet, I did it.

Foster gives his own examples:

This technique can be applied to virtually anything that you find yourself resisting. Yesterday afternoon (a Sunday) I felt that all I wanted to do was to veg out in front of the TV. But I had a whole load of tasks which I’d promised myself I’d do that afternoon, which included washing the dishes, mowing the lawn, going for a walk and writing some more of my book. I got myself moving by saying “I’ll just fill the washing up bowl with hot water”. Magically I found the washing up was done. Then I said “I’ll just get the lawnmower out of the shed”. Again magically I found the lawn had been mown. Then I said “I’ll just walk to the end of the front drive”. Fifty minutes later I got back from a long, fast walk through the woods and fields. And finally I said “I’ll just open the Word file for my book”. A thousand words later I felt very virtuous indeed!

So there you have it: another tactic to use to wrangle yourself into accomplishing things you know deep deep deep down you want to do but right now just couldn’t be bothered.

Hope it helps you as much as it does me!

The Energy Project

energy-audit

I found this quiz on the weekend that I wanted to share with you. It’s called the Energy Audit. It asks a series of questions about your performance at work, how you feel at work, whether you are doing the things you want to do etc and then ranks you out of 100% on being physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally energized. I scored 40%, lowest on the mental energy score which I would tend to agree with. I received an email in my inbox highlighting the problematic statements I affirmed, which helps me to hone in on what to improve. None of them surprise me, I knew they were bad as soon as I clicked them:

  • I often eat lunch at my desk, if I eat lunch at all.
  • I frequently find myself feeling irritable, impatient or anxious at work, especially when demand is high.
  • I have difficulty focusing on one thing at a time and I am easily distracted during the day, especially by email.
  • I spend much of my time reacting to immediate demands rather than focusing on activities with longer-term value and leverage.
  • I rarely have any time when my mind is quiet and free of thoughts.
  • My decisions at work are often more influenced by external demands than by a strong, clear sense of my own purpose.

I have to admit, if I had done this test this time last year, the scores would have been a whole lot different. Since then, and since the inception of this blog, I have made a lot more positive changes.

To take the Energy Audit yourself by clicking here. Don’t forget to come back and share in the comments your score with some ideas on how you can improve!

Happy Tummy, Happy Brain

It’s been over a year now that I’ve been wheat free and sugar free. During that year I cheated several times and lived to regret it. I now know that I just don’t operate well if I’m cheating on these foods. My stomach is a disaster and my head spins and I get headaches. I just can’t cheat.

The other factor that I’ve realized heavily influences how good I feel is how many greens I’m eating. This is a problem. I’ve never been good at eating my vegetables. Even fruit. I like a lot of fruit, but I will rarely reach for fruit if chips or cookies are an option. If fruit is served, I’ll for sure it eat and love it. I still haven’t figured out the mental barrier about fruit.

Smoothies, however, I don’t seem to have much problem with. Plop a few berries and a banana in a blender and that thing is down my hatch without a second thought.

For the last few months I’ve been tracking “Eat Veggies” and “Eat Fruit” on LiftApp. I started tracking it because some days I actually at no fruit or vegetables. Since I was a little girl I would get headaches if I didn’t have protein and so that has always been the focus of my meal planning and it’s not abnormal for me to forget to make veggies to accompany it. Since tracking my intake on Lift, I have noticed that I’m noticing more whether or not I’m eating my F&Vs, but it’s still not enough. I’m really tired of how sluggish I’m feeling.

Enter the 30 Day Smoothie Challenge.

30day_blog

I heard about it through GiddyYoYo on facebook and decided I needed to do it. It starts May 1 and continues for the rest of the month. When I first read about it my first thought was, “Jess, do you really need to add something else to your list of things to do?” My initial answer was ‘No’ but as I read on about how the purpose was to develop the habit, well, you know me these days. I’m all about the habit. I’m pretty desperate to eat better.

I already have convinced a few friends to join me but I wanted to let you guys know about it too. The way we eat totally affects our daily performance including mental clarity and energy. I believe this now! So go ahead and sign up to get your smoothie recipes and join the FB group, or check out my Pinboard of smoothies for ideas.

Leave a comment to let us know if you’re in or not!

Laughter is good medicine

ostrich

The other day I was watching How I Met Your Mother on Netflix. I know, not exactly the best TV show for a lot of reasons (Barney being a huge dirtbag being one of them) but I realized that watching every episode of the first 6 seasons is partly why I stayed sane since September at work.

I realized I had a lot of internal stress for reasons I don’t exactly know. Even when I don’t feel stressed my body tells me I am by making me have stomach aches etc. It’s frustrating and confusing because I love what I do (or at least I think I do?). I can now identify things that were stressing me out which has instigated some changes at work that I’m happy about.

As I watched an episode of HIMYM and found myself laughing and laughing. It felt really good and really freeing to laugh despite people getting bombed and raped and bullied to death and battling my self telling myself that I suck (insight into the real internal dialogue that I battle).

Last night, I found myself reading buzzfeed over and over. 25 Photos You Need To Really Look At To Understand, for example, had my husband and laughing quite hard. I kept clicking and kept laughing. It was really nice.

As life gets more and more complex, as we hear about terror plots between Montreal and Toronto and about other things that make me want to stick my head in the sand, I need to remember just to find a way to laugh. Laughter is a wonderful stress reliever, spirit-lifter, and is linked with — you guessed it — better productivity.

Do you ever try to make yourself laugh when you’re stressed or upset? What’s your go-to TV show or movie? How do you get your laughter quotient in? Leave a comment to share the funny wealth!

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