It’s Day 3 of my giveaway of The Now Habit by Neil Fiore. It’s outrageously helpful in battling procrastination. Click here for rules on how to enter the draw. Good luck!
In the spirit of us sharing a story of when we procrastinated and it was baaaaad I thought I’d share too. One time I was connecting with a donor to my organization. They were a sweet couple that I knew from Church. They had invited me to dinner. For whatever reason that I cannot remember, I had to call to reschedule. I was pretty nervous about rescheduling because it’s usually pretty tacky. So I put it off, which anyone knows is a really bad idea when it comes to giving people warning that you’re not going to be able to make the engagement. Then, like most scenarios with procrastination, I forgot about it. I get a call one evening and the kind lady asks if everything was OK in arriving to their place for dinner.
I had never canceled. I was busy at my other (apparently) more important arrangement.
I was beyond mortified. I saw her at church the following Sunday and I’m confidence her perspective of me had completely shattered. I asked to reschedule and she brushed it off, obviously no longer interested. It was bad. Really, really bad.
That, my friends, is only one example of ways I’ve let myself and others down because I just haven’t faced the facts that I was a procrastinator. I’m still a recovering procrastinator.
Now it’s your turn. Share your story in the comments and you’ll be entered to win a copy of The Now Habit! Too scared to share yours? Trust me, take a look at what some other people have written and you’ll feel less singled-out.
A year and a half ago I decided to face my problem with procrastination. As with a lot of things in my life, the first step is to read a book. I picked up a book on my Kobo called The Now Habit by Neil Fiore. It came well recommended by reviewers online so I gave it a shot. I was surprised at how insightful and helpful it was. It was like the author was in my head telling me things about myself that I didn’t even know about me. The book is pretty dense with information and I didn’t get very far before I put it down and started mulling over what he was saying and seeing if I could identify those things in my life too and make some changes.
I picked the book up again the other day and continued reading. Guys, this book is GOLD. This book is to procrastinators as Dr. Henry Cloud’s book Boundaries is for people pleasers: it’s transformational.
The author addresses things like fear, our negative self talk, taking adult responsibility for our choices and our lives. It’s fascinating and challenging.
I want you to benefit from it. I’m going to post a bit about the book this week as well as doing another giveaway.
The Rules
Leave a comment here sharing the time you felt the worst about your procrastination. What did you put off? What was at stake? How did you feel after?
You will gain another entry for every social share (Facebook, Twitter, G+ etc), as well as if you follow by RSS, or by email. Leave a separate comment here telling me if you tweeted or shared on Facebook etc.
I’m looking for submissions for my first Guest Post Series featuring how YOU and other regular people have gone about accomplishing difficult or seemingly wild things. Check out this post for more details.
Guys, I have good things to report! In case you forgot, here’s a quick recap on my New Year’s Resolutions:
Read a book every two weeks.
Continue getting exercise 3x a week until I can start running again.
Start Sewing/Cross-stitching.
That’s on top of other regular things that I’ve been trying to keep up with like having a morning routine. So how’s it going? Pretty good on the Resolutions front.
I’ve got reading down pat into a habitual thing (I think?). I read on the metro to and from work and for 30 minutes a day (which I track on my Lift app). That alone usually means I can get through a book in faster than 2 weeks, but I’m still not planning on changing my resolution. I’d like to give some margin for regular life to be able to happen.
I’ve been exercising 3x a week, and this week I’m going to start playing with adding swimming once a week as some of that exercise.
Sewing/Cross-stitching has totally not happened at all yet. I’m OK with that as I’m still figuring out the first two and getting back into the habit of my morning routine, which is going quite well! I’ve been getting up at 6:45 the last two weeks. It’s changing my body rhythms a bit again. I need coffee at 10AM instead of 1PM now, and I’m quite tired by 9PM. I’ve also been trying to write regularly on top of all that. This means I’m watching a lot less TV, but I still have time for a short episode of something.
The Downside
Though my Resolutions are going well, there are other things in my life that have been pushed to the back-burner to make room for more reading and exercise. Things like grocery shopping, laundry and house cleaning. These things don’t really even take place at the same time of day but they are definitely suffering. I think February will need to be about doing ALL! the things well together.
The last week I’ve been mulling over the concept of vision and how it can motivate us as well as give us drive that we might not otherwise have. In connection with this, I’ve been thinking a lot about the shift that happened in my life that led to me starting this blog. I think it really has to do with a renewed vision of what my life could be. It was through that heart-capturing renewed vision that motivated me to make important changes in my life. Here’s what I mean:
Last fall I blogged these words,
A few weeks ago I was reading the ebook You Are A Writer by Jeff Goins. He wrote something that really got under my skin.
“Not too long after the race, I woke up early one morning, drank some coffee, and went for a five-mile run. After that, I wrote a few pages for my book and went to work.
That evening, I looked back on the day and I was shocked by all I had accomplished. Getting up early, running five miles, writing over a thousand words — where did all this discipline come from?”
Those words really agitated me. I stayed up late that night talking with my husband about it. I hated that I didn’t have the discipline to have the discipline to run. I hated that I cared so much what people thought of me. I hated that I wanted to pursue writing, but there were things holding me back and I couldn’t figure it out. That night as we were talking I realized that my personal idol of acceptance/caring what people thought of me was the biggest problem standing in my way.
“I don’t want to be this person!” I exclaimed. Willy thought I was concerned with my weight, but that wasn’t the problem. The problem was that I was letting things get in my way from getting what I wanted out of life, from achieving my goals. When I was a teenager I decided that I wanted to accomplish some things in life and I was going to do what I could in my power to make those happen. It’s one thing if Providence moves those things out of the realm of possibility, but at least I could say I did my best with my circumstances. That’s what I want to be about.
Those goals acted as a vision for what my life could be. They were things I wanted to be true of me. I imagined the next 60 years flying by and me ‘not having the time’ to make these changes and regretting it. Let me be clear: the things that I wanted to change were accents to my life. They were the pops of colour in a wardrobe, or the jewellery to complete the outfit. I am very happy with my marriage, my work, my life in Montreal in general. It was the “less important” things that I wasn’t happy with: the lack of hobbies (not that I didn’t have ideas of what I wanted to do, I just didn’t have the confidence or self-discipline to start). I will write more on this later.
Vision and belief
The first step was having vision or a picture of what things could be otherwise. This is beyond “wouldn’t it be cool if?” and more along the lines of “this is what it could be!” The next obstacle to surmount was to decide whether it was even reasonable. I’m a pretty rational person. I’m often too rational to the point where it can hurt people’s feelings, or I forget the people within the problems I’m trying to solve. I didn’t want to set myself up for inevitable public failure. I wanted to be somewhat sure that I could do these things. As I evaluated, I realized they were pretty reasonable. The one thing standing in my way was fear.
I refuse to let fear run my life.
Recognizing the obstacles
Recognizing the obstacles helped me find the resolve to overcome them after coaching myself into believing that they weren’t as important as I thought they were. Who cared what people thought? Who cared if people laughed and scoffed? Was their opinion more important than my own self-perception? Not a chance. The fact was, I was not happy with the momentum my laziness was gaining. It was humbling and embarrassing to come to terms with the fact that my laziness wasn’t Who I was but more like What I was allowing myself to be. It’s hard to change our nature, it might be even impossible! What we can learn is discipline and grow in maturity as a person if we identify the areas we’re lacking.
But it all started with a vision of the person I could be.
What about you? What do you want to have accomplished in 50 years? Are there things that require changing in your life now to achieve them? Do you believe you can change ? Share your goals or ideas in the comments here.
Wow, I’m seriously, seriously loving The Power of Habit. It’s giving me huge insight into how I can develop the lifestyle I want that will help me reach a bunch of these goals. I’ll post about some of these things later, but one of the things it talked about was how people who are successful in changing lifestyles (recovering alcoholics, people doing physical rehab) are often more successful than their peers because they have a plan for their day/situation/year or whatever. This means that they have an exit strategy or they have mentally rehearsed what to do if a craving arises, or if stress gets piled on (in the case of the alcoholic) or for the physical rehabilitation patient they have a plan for what to do when pain arises that they just need to push through.
I’m pretty sure this the reason why I’m not super bummed right now about my lack of ‘training’ for my 5k at the end of April. This was more or less a part of the plan. Winter run if possible, if not figure something out. I’m definitely figuring something out. I’ve been doing some morning exercises from a DVD at home but I’m taking small steps towards swimming a few times a week in the neighbourhood pool a few blocks from my place.
An example
The other day it was bitter cold out. I had two main goals for the evening: get groceries and buy a bathing suit. It took me all day to psych myself up to drive the 10 minutes to Wal-mart Super Centre where I could buy a bathing suit and groceries at the same time. I’m not exactly at my height of motivation, these days. I almost convinced myself not to step out into the cold and that anyone would understand why I wouldn’t want to go. I did go. I survived and I bought a non-fancy bathing suit. I was one step closer to regular swimming. It turns out the suit didn’t fit me in the end. Wop wop. But at least I tried, right?
Little wins, people.
Now I need to go back to Wal-Mart and I’m so much more motivated to exchange that suit and get one that fits me and hit the pool. I also have a plan. Thursday evening I had planned to go to the pool for a first swim but then I found out my suit didn’t fit. Instead of being bummed that I couldn’t go (but was also pretty uninterested in leaving the house due to icky temperatures) I made a plan to ensure success: I’d buy a combo lock, I’d visit the pool during free swim time today and figure out how the place actually works. That means that after work when I’m planning to go swim, I’ll already know the drill and I can just do it.
It’s kind of embarrassing how easily I can get bummed about something and then give up altogether. In this case, I’m determined enough to anticipate problems and pre-determine solutions so that I can reach my goal.
Guys, I’m kind of excited to flail around in a pool a few times a week! What’s up with that?
What about you? Do you try to plan in order to set yourself up for success? Or does winning not matter much to you? Click here to leave a comment.
I was telling my coworkers yesterday about much I am enjoying Lift App. Here are a few reasons why:
I get to see my progress.
It encourages me (“Congrats, Jess! You’re on a 5 day streak of drinking more water!”) daily.
I actually derive pleasure/value from that BIG GREEN checkmark. Never before has a digital check mark been of value to me.
Other people can give me props.
It’s basically a community/app/thing based around achieving goals/to-dos. I only have one “friend” connection on it and he’s not really a friend so much as a guy I have a tech-crush on who I see all the time in St. Henri and I’m too afraid to say hi (he co-writes books with Chris Brogan). He also wrote about Lift this week and what he says is really helpful so I’ll quote him. He’s actually writing about morning/evening routines, which is something we’ve been talking a bit about since this blog’s inception. (How many of you just thought “whoa, inception” and thought about the movie? Me too). You can read the full post here on Julien’s site In Over Your Head.
My life is structured around a set number of goals to complete every day. Some of those goals are tiny, others are large. Here is an incomplete list in picture form:
As you can see, I have tiny habits, like ”Smile at a stranger” (which breaks my usual pattern of looking grumpy all the time), and then I have large ones, like “Finish all to-do’s,” which is a pointer to a another HUGE list in another app.
When I finish all of my habits for the day, like the ones in the list at right, I’m done. But there’s more to it than that.
I also deliberately plan the orderin which I will do these, and the reason I do this is because it helps keep me cheery and motivated to do more.
So I wake up and immediately floss and weigh myself. These are like little wins that get me started on my habit building. Then I go into “Process mail“ and maybe ”Take fish oil“ (very good for you btw).
Then my day is started and I’ll go into my calendar and see what my day is going to look like.
I also force introspection every day through a habit of free writing, which helps me think about my own path, or my work, or whatever else I feel like putting some thought into. You cannot trust yourself to think through important stuff in your head only. Because we are so distracted, it simply does not work. So this forces it to go on paper, where I won’t quit until I hit like 750 words.
So it’s almost like my day is structured with easy win > hard win > easy win > hard win-style loops that will keep me from feeling exhausted. Some stuff is easy, others are hard. With breaks obviously. And of course I forgive myself if ever I don’t get everything done. I draw a lot from Alcoholics Anonymous style ideas so that I can think one day at a time.
The final thing I wanted to mention about this is that often, at night, it is a great idea to just do one more thing. It can be small or big, doesn’t matter, but it helps set you off on the right foot and feel like you were extra productive today. For you that could be anything, maybe doing pushups, or writing a blog post.
I never thought Lift would be as helpful as it is. I don’t even know where I heard about it, but I’m lovin’ it. If you want to add me as a friend/follow me it will automatically suggest me as a friend if you’re following me on twitter, or you can search my name and follow me. Make sure you let me know so I can follow you back and encourage you, too!
Have you found any app or anything that gives you the reward or “lift” you need to reinforce your habits? Comment here and let me know.
