One of the good things that has come out of this pandemic quarantine life is that other people are experiencing the life I live as a mama. With this comes increased compassion, understanding, and new eyes on the “lock down” experience.
Motherhood is extremely isolating at times. In the past I would refer to my life as “depressing” because I didn’t have another word for it. I knew it wasn’t the right word because I obviously love my children, have fun with them, and enjoy many parts of my life!
Now, thanks to other people living this experience of being stuck at home, thrust into a totally different life than they were familiar with, we have people writing about it.
They’re using words like “grief” and “grieving.”
At first I was like 🤷🏼♀️ “I don’t get it.”
But now I see it. When I feel down or depressed about my life, what it really is is grief over the freedoms I “lost” when I had kids. It’s the grief over having to say no to me when I don’t want to. It’s the pain of self-denial. It’s hard. I don’t like it. It’s deeply uncomfortable.
With this new word, I feel like I’m allowed to feel sad about what Is gone and yet appreciate what I have. The old phrase “my life is depressing” had brought an unfair judgment on my new life.
Without being disrespectful for all the people that have come into hardship because of this pandemic, I have to say: I’m grateful for it.
