Taking Off:

The third post in my guest post series is someone I’ve known all his life: my brother Nick. We didn’t always get along as well as we do now. He didn’t really like it so much that our older brother and I teased him relentlessly. I’d like to take some credit for his success in life. I’m confident that the fact that after he developed a little stutter when he was younger (after me always interrupting him or finishing his stories for him) and my yelling, “HURRY UP AND FINISH YOUR SENTENCE” helped him persevere in difficulty and made him a heartier person. He really doesn’t stutter anymore.

Twice in the past three years, as the wheels left the tarmac, the plane took off and so did I.

To a new city, to a new job, a new place, friends, struggles, and adventures–that’s where I was going. The first time, I packed a bag and the day after college graduation, flew out to a new life on the west coast. In the young hours of the morning as my classmates were stumbling back home from celebrating our accomplishments as students, I was waiting for my flight. A quiet, empty departure terminal early in the morning is a place ripe for second guessing and the decision to take a job on the other side of the country was either an accomplishment I should be celebrating too, or a mistake of a severity I hadn’t yet discovered.

The second time was an out-of-the blue offer to take a job at a tech startup in New York City. I had been out west for a year and was just settling in but it was an opportunity that I couldn’t pass up. As over the PA, “Flight 132 to Newark International, Final Boarding Call” echoed through the empty terminal, I pulled myself out of the cold and uncomfortable seat to find my place on a one-way flight to a scary new city. Again.

You hear it in different ways. “He’s never been the same since his dad took off.” Or, “Her career really took off when she cracked into the local business development community.” Part of taking off means leaving something behind and if not done right can be really hurtful. But in a lot of ways, to start something new you have to leave things behind. You have to end relationships, sell off belongings that you value, and walk away from the impression you’ve left on people (which you use to identify your personality). But that process creates an experience which will strongly define you.

Sometimes to really take off, you need to take off.

It doesn’t need to be as drastic as packing your life in to a bag and moving to NYC, but many things in our life we hold on to because we’re afraid of taking off and leaving those comforts behind. It’s a combination of our habits, our friends, our homes–the environment we find ourselves in every minute of our life–that are the factors which either help our lives take off and soar or hold us back from what we want to become.

Piece by piece, we are choosing the shape of our lives. We often settle at “good” because the steps to “great” aren’t easy. Being in constant search of great things means walking away from good things. To take off from something doesn’t mean running away and leaving people hurt. And wanting things to take off is not selfish. When set with the right morals, taking off means that you can bring people with you and have a higher platform for which you can help build people up.

There is some risk involved with taking off. You risk leaving behind something great. You risk friendships that you may not find again. You can be risking your reputation and setting yourself up for failure. But in my case, I’ve found that those fears are mostly unfounded. When you go on a new adventure, your family will still be there to support you. Your friends will change over time, but so will you, and it’s more than likely that you’ll both have changed for the better and can still find a place in each other’s lives. As my plane approached Newark Airport, the New York City was reflecting gold in the sun. It was beautiful and daunting. More than anything, fear pulsed through me. I was afraid of what I would become if I couldn’t make it in the Big City. I was scared that if I couldn’t make it here, people’s perception of me would be different and even worse, my perception of myself would fall. That’s the risk but the rewards are even better.

You’ll be fine taking off and more than likely, your life will take off because of what you chose to leave behind in seeking something greater.

February 15, 2013

And the winner is….

Thanks to everyone who entered for the chance to win this book. I’m pretty happy to be able to share the wealth with others. I hope that some of you decide to pick up a copy because it’s quite helpful as I’ve spent all week saying.

I calculated all the entries and through random.org picked one. Who won?

Samantha Buxton!

Congrats, Sam! You’ll receive your copy in the coming week.

February 14, 2013

The UnSchedule

It’s Day 3 of my giveaway of The Now Habit by Neil Fiore. It’s outrageously helpful in battling procrastination. Click here for rules on how to enter the draw. Good luck!

fran — Example from the book of an Unschedule.

One of the many things I found helpful in The Now Habit was The Unschedule. Fiore developed this over about 10 years on clients until he felt it was perfected and used it in his book. It’s a concept that will surprise many because you start by filling in your schedule with your non-work activities. Why? There are a few reasons: 1) to show you how busy you actually are with other things so that when you think “oh, I can do that later” the reality is is that there probably isn’t a later because you’re busy with other life activities; 2) often procrastinators isolate themselves from other people because they aren’t getting their work done. They live in a cycle of procrastination and unintended social punishment, which generally makes life miserable. Here’s the complete guide to how to make your own Unschedule (without all the background information which is actually very helpful):

Schedule only non-work activities
This includes:
- Previously committed time such as meals, sleep, meetings
- Free time, recreation, leisure reading
- Socializing, lunches, and dinners with friends
- Health activities like going to the gym
- Routine events such as commuting, classes, appointments
Fill in your Unschedule with work on projects only after you’ve completed at least one-half hour of uninterrupted work
Take credit only for periods of work that represent at least thirty minutes of uninterrupted work.
Reward yourself with a fun activity after each period of work
Track of the number of quality hours worked each day and each week.
Schedule at least one full day for fun and small chores.
Before doing something fun, do thirty minutes of work on your projects
Focus on starting and the next action (rather than finishing the whole project)
Think small
Keep starting
Never end “down”
Never take a break when you’re stuck or ready to give up. Always stay with a tough spot for another five or ten minutes, trying to come up with a partial solution that you can pursue later.

February 13, 2013

My most embarrassing procrastination moment

It’s Day 3 of my giveaway of The Now Habit by Neil Fiore. It’s outrageously helpful in battling procrastination. Click here for rules on how to enter the draw. Good luck!

In the spirit of us sharing a story of when we procrastinated and it was baaaaad I thought I’d share too. One time I was connecting with a donor to my organization. They were a sweet couple that I knew from Church. They had invited me to dinner. For whatever reason that I cannot remember, I had to call to reschedule. I was pretty nervous about rescheduling because it’s usually pretty tacky. So I put it off, which anyone knows is a really bad idea when it comes to giving people warning that you’re not going to be able to make the engagement. Then, like most scenarios with procrastination, I forgot about it. I get a call one evening and the kind lady asks if everything was OK in arriving to their place for dinner.

I had never canceled. I was busy at my other (apparently) more important arrangement.

I was beyond mortified. I saw her at church the following Sunday and I’m confidence her perspective of me had completely shattered. I asked to reschedule and she brushed it off, obviously no longer interested. It was bad. Really, really bad.

That, my friends, is only one example of ways I’ve let myself and others down because I just haven’t faced the facts that I was a procrastinator. I’m still a recovering procrastinator.

Now it’s your turn. Share your story in the comments and you’ll be entered to win a copy of The Now Habit! Too scared to share yours? Trust me, take a look at what some other people have written and you’ll feel less singled-out.

February 12, 2013

Off course 90% of the time…

It’s Day 2 of my giveaway of The Now Habit by Neil Fiore. It’s outrageously helpful in battling procrastination. Click here for rules on how to enter the draw. Good luck!

Here’s an excerpt from The Now Habit that I found enlightening.

“In his book Peak Performance, Charles Garfield tells us that the trajectory of the Apollo moon rocket was off course 90 percent of the time. By acknowledging the deviations from the expected path, the scientists were able to repeatedly make the necessary corrections and achieve an imperfect, but adequate, trajectory to the moon. They achieved a major breakthrough by sticking to the mission in spite of numerous setbacks.”

February 11, 2013

Announcing Giveaway #2

A year and a half ago I decided to face my problem with procrastination. As with a lot of things in my life, the first step is to read a book. I picked up a book on my Kobo called The Now Habit by Neil Fiore. It came well recommended by reviewers online so I gave it a shot. I was surprised at how insightful and helpful it was. It was like the author was in my head telling me things about myself that I didn’t even know about me. The book is pretty dense with information and I didn’t get very far before I put it down and started mulling over what he was saying and seeing if I could identify those things in my life too and make some changes.

I picked the book up again the other day and continued reading. Guys, this book is GOLD. This book is to procrastinators as Dr. Henry Cloud’s book Boundaries is for people pleasers: it’s transformational.

The author addresses things like fear, our negative self talk, taking adult responsibility for our choices and our lives. It’s fascinating and challenging.

I want you to benefit from it. I’m going to post a bit about the book this week as well as doing another giveaway.

The Rules

Leave a comment here sharing the time you felt the worst about your procrastination. What did you put off? What was at stake? How did you feel after?
You will gain another entry for every social share (Facebook, Twitter, G+ etc), as well as if you follow by RSS, or by email. Leave a separate comment here telling me if you tweeted or shared on Facebook etc.

Bucket List Journey

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