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Goal hustling with the long-view in mind

Alternatively titled, “Goal hustling as a mom of littles”

When I first started this blog, I knew I was going to have kids. Or at least, that was our plan. So I knew that as I formed the purpose for this blog, I knew that I was going to have to have something that was going to be able to survive years of “goal drought” or slower periods where striking things off my bucket list were few and far between because of the demands of diapers, tantrums, potty training, breastfeeding, etc.

Initially, my transition to motherhood was rough. Going from being a goal hustler to being a mom at home felt very suffocating. I loved my son and I enjoyed him, but it felt a bit like my entire life was on hold — everything I was made to be was on hold to raise a family. I’ve settled more into my role as mom and so I no longer feel that way exactly but I admit at times I do lean in that direction.

Long-term thinking

Part of what brings success to reaching our goals is being able to have long-term thinking. I’ve been a mom for 4 years now (which I know is nothing compared to some of you who are reading— hi mom!), and I’ve finally gone through enough stages of childrearing to know they do grow up and few things lasts forever. The poop jokes for boys are still going strong, though. And when they’re learning a second language there’s even more to choose from!

The last few months, I have been restless. I’ve been looking ahead too much to what I want to accomplish when my kids are less dependent on me. This has been unhelpful because I’m not there yet. It means I haven’t been entirely present in my home or have felt resentful of where I’m at in life. Living resentfully is not at all what I want for my life. Thankfully, I’ve had some personal insight into why I’ve been feeling this way and how I can get my head back into being present for my family and happy about it.

Over the last year I’ve also been into a personality test that has been super helpful for me to understand why I am the way I am and what makes me different. This has also been super enlightening for helping me to lean into the hard parts and be more patient.

Anyways, back to the long-term thinking.

If you’re motivated by goals and feel stuck with where you’re at, I’ve found it helpful to make goals related to where you are. If you’re stuck because of an illness, decide who you want to be in that illness. If you’re feeling stuck because of career issues or dissappointments, decide what kind of person you want to be in that. These character related goals at least give something to work towards when you feel like it’s all out of control.

Who, not just what

A lot of the goals on my Bucket List are things I want to accomplish. I don’t think any of them say anything at all about what kind of person I want to be. I certainly have these ideas in mind as well, I just have never written them down on my Bucket List. Lately I’ve been focusing more on my character goals rather than my accomplishments. I’ve also been working on the long-term goals of raising my children to not be incarcerated!!! Low bar, I know, but some days I wonder with the consistent ignoring me and lack of obedience if there’s any hope for them #kiddingnotkidding

Honestly, though, as I sit back and stop being so tightly wound about being a published book author or running a marathon (both nowhere on the horizon), I am reminded that having raised good human beings is actually at the top of my list of concerns. Also, having a loving intact marriage at the end of all of it too.

So in light of these things, how have I been working at my goals the last 6 months? Things are going pretty well, I’d say. A lot of my habits have fallen apart again and as a result an obvious chaos has entered our lives. I’d like to get those things back in order again: bullet journaling to keep the swirling thoughts in order, mornings in prayer and my Bible, and actually thinking about meals. Exercise has been put in the back burner as I’m cooking a third baby.

Keep at it, friends!

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Miracle Morning: getting off the strugglebus

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Hey look it’s one of my semi-annual posts! I’m feeling pretty great about it, thanks for asking. A few weeks ago my husband referred to “my old blog” and I was a little sad when I realized he meant this one. It’s not old, just a little neglected, ok??? If you’ve been following this blog for any length of time, you may notice a pattern. I stop things and sometimes I start them back up again. This is actually improvement because I used to just stop things and be disappointed in myself and then never start again. This has happened in the last few months again. I stopped doing my early morning routine and things fell into chaos.

Miracle Morning

One of the most transformational changes our family has made in the last year was getting up before our kids. My early mornings was largely inspired by the concept of a Miracle Morning. I had already been waking up and doing morning pages, so this is only a slight variation on that. Earlier this year, that meant I was actually waking up at 5:30 ON PURPOSE. My toddler had started waking up earlier, at 6, and so I had become so desperate for my ‘me’ time that it became worth it for me to wake up that early. I’m telling you, it changed my attitude as a parent. I went from feeling irritated with my kids for taking up “my” time during the day, to having my day start with quiet, reading, journaling, exercise, and when they woke up I no longer felt like I was being cheated out of being a person.

It was a huge win for me to make that change. I spent years having a bad attitude before I got desperate enough to change things. Our family life runs much more smoothly now particularly in the morning. I have never been a “morning person” but the time has become precious enough to me that I was looking forward to it! It certainly makes for earlier evenings — I’ll get into bed at 9:30. Some nights that means that I’m only awake 30 minutes longer than my oldest, but it’s ok because I’ll have that time in the morning again.

We made some changes the last few weeks and I fell off the early-morning wagon for a bit. But I’m back, slowly, and that’s what counts! Not quitting entirely, but getting back at it again. Like this blog. I’m still at it, and I’m still at slowly chipping away at my goals. I’ll write more about that later.

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One week at a time

“Do you still blog?” my friend Dave recently asked me.

“No. Well, yes, but not lately,” I replied. I haven’t quit, I explained. I just don’t have time and haven’t had much to say. Lately, my free time doesn’t start until 8:30pm and then I have about an hour before I’m heading to bed. In the past, I might have had enough rattling around in my brain and I would be able to pump out a blog post in 20 minutes flat. Lately, my head is swirling with the mental load of managing a household and getting some rest and working out.

I may not be blogging, but I am still working out. I am so pumped about that. It’s been almost 8 months of consistent working out. It’s become my hobby, really, because of what it offers me in return (see last post). You may have noticed that I don’t always stick to things very well. I get really excited about something for a short time (remember when I used to run? haha) and then it loses its excitement. That has definitely happened a few times during BBG, but because it has an end date (it’s a 12-week program), I’ve been able to keep at it until the end because I can see the end in sight.

Here are a couple things I’ve been thinking about lately.

When do you have time to do it?

I’ve had a lot of other moms tell me they’re interested in giving BBG a try, but aren’t sure how to make/find the time. Honestly, sometimes it’s the only thing I do in the day that isn’t family-related. But because it’s so easy to do at home, it doesn’t disrupt my life much at all.

  1. I make use of the TV. One BBG workout is 27 minutes (or 45 if you’re a beginner and it takes you forever to do the moves because you’re so out of shape like I was at the beginning). That’s 2 Daniel Tiger episodes. A Paw Patrol. I know that “screen time” is really frowned upon these days, especially if your kids are under 2. But let’s get real: your sanity and your health is much more important than 30 minutes of TV that may even teach your kids emotional intelligence. The number of times we’ve sang the songs from Daniel Tiger to Jack are basically innumerable at this point (but that speaks more to my bad memory right now than how much we’ve done it).
  2. I have them join in. Jack now knows what mountain climbers are. He recognizes my exercise clothes. He knows Kayla Itsines is “exercise girl” haha. He’ll try the moves with me, climb on me, and generally get energy out. I’m ok with that, though sometimes it’s really irritating because I can’t do 30 jump-squats while holding a 30lb boy. At least not yet. I can do walking lunges with him on my back, though!
  3. Do it after they go to bed. More often than not, I’ve done my workouts at 8:30pm while I watch a documentary, or a TV show or something. Willy will sit there on the couch watching me grunt away, which is neither motivating or encouraging. BUT, after a few weeks you’ll see you have more energy and sleep more deeply at night. The benefits far outweigh the bad stuff and this is coming from a (formerly?) super lazy person!!!

goforit

Keystone Habits

If you’ve been following my blog since the beginning, you’ll know I was super into habit-forming for awhile. One of the best books I’ve read in my adult life is The Power of Habit and I’ve blogged about it a few times before. The concept of a Keystone Habit is super fascinating. In short, it’s one new habit that has a cascading effect on everything else in your life. Research shows that if you start tracking your food intake you will lose weight. It’s the observation that triggers realization of what you’re putting into your mouth. Then you start to re-think what you’re eating, and consider maybe walking more or taking the stairs, etc.

Working out for me has been one of those things. I’m starting to need to eat differently to have proper energy for working out. Now I’m noticing the ways I can eat better in the rest of my life and find nutrient dense foods to fuel my toddler-chasing life. Now, my body is craving more exercise. In some ways, I feel like I’ve changed a LOT this year, but it’s been slow. I can feel more changes. I went for a run a few weeks ago because my body had been craving it. Guys, it was the first time I had run since Jack was Teddy’s age, and it was fine. It was easier than before (thanks BBG!). Now, I’m craving exercise most days when I was only working out twice a week in January.

I’m starting to think that running a marathon is way more reasonable than it used to be. Before BBG, running a marathon was a dream that was just totally bonkers unrealistic but I still wanted to do it someday. Now it’s still bonkers but not quite unrealistic. It’s still many years away, but now I don’t feel like it’s a total pipe dream.

Anyways, that’s me lately.

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What I’ve learned about myself after 22 weeks of BBG exercise


If you’ve been paying attention to any of my social media in the last 5 months, you’ll know that I have been regularly exercising using the BBG program (not the Shakeology thing). You’ll also probably know that I love it. I can go on and on about how great it is, but let me just say these three things about it:

  1. you can do it at home (or in the gym) in 30 minutes
  2.  you can go at your own pace
  3. it’s super affordable if you buy the PDFs bc you can just do the 12 weeks over and over again and make a few modifications as your strength increases (increase weights, add ankle weights etc) 
  4. You learn a lot about body weight exercising and resistance training by doing it and can know zilch before you start. 

What have I learned

I feel like I’m a new person. In some ways, I am! In other ways (fast food!) I am not. My body is changing shape, I am forced to fuel my body differently to accommodate the increase in exercise, and my happiness level has increased. 

Who am I? I used to be athletic before I hit puberty. I enjoyed running, gymnastics, skiing etc, but when I hit puberty cardio just sucked. It was basically overnight. I couldn’t run anymore. This convinced me that I just wasn’t the “athletic type.” I was the girl who hated gym class, especially in high school. That was less about the athletics, and more about resenting the competitive girls who were mean and just wanted to win. I still hate overcompetitiveness. 

So it was easy to form the lazy-girl-fast-food-loving identity. If you’ve been following my journey on my blog, you’ll know that I’ve been trying to change that, knowing that it’s critical for my health to get out of that comfort zone. I’m so grateful BBG fell into my lap because it’s exactly what I’ve been looking for (read the 4 points above). While my lazy identity hasn’t changed entirely, I can feel things shifting in me. 


Happy. I enjoy how I feel doing BBG. I enjoy the REGULAR sense of accomplishment and pride in my personal achievements. Not everyone is motivated the same way I am, but for me I LOVE getting to see results and progress. This is especially true when I’m on maternity leave and everything I do is slow and or endless (raising kids, dishes, etc). 


Strong. I don’t know how I even did motherhood before working out. The other day I carried 2 giant Costco bags from my van from our street parking spot and I didn’t die. I then carried Teddy who is already 20lbs, and it was all no big deal. I can lug both boys on both hips UP👏🏻 THE👏🏻 STAIRS👏🏻 and it’s ok. It’s amazing! 


Inner strength. I think my character feels as developed as my (hiding) abs. It’s not always easy to fit in a workout with the needs of kids and family life. I’ve managed to not procrastinate away and unnecessarily skip workouts. This is incredible! I do actually have major muscles forming. I can see the difference in my personal progress photos. But I’m actually more proud of who I am becoming and what I’m achieving than what my body looks like. 

GUYS. ITS SO GOOD. 

I’m going to be starting BBG 1.0 over again in a few weeks and you should join me. Let’s get strong, together!

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Morning Pages & My New Morning Routine

pigeonThis image describes me perfectly. I’m not an early bird or a night owl. Since being married the fact that I am neither and need a lot of sleep has caused some frustration between us. Willy always wants to set his alarm to a time that involves a 6 in the front. This idea has infuriated me because I’m the girl who sleeps until the very last possible minute and doesn’t snooze the alarm because if-i-don’t-get-out-of-bed-this-second-I-will-be-seriously-late. It’s hard to be late when on mat leave, though. And it’s hard to sleep in with kids, too. But because my husband insists on getting up early in the morning, I told him the early bird gets the worm and the worm is our toddler! I don’t even remember when it was that he started letting me sleep in a bit extra and he manages the morning with our first. This was especially wonderful when I was up in the night a few times with the baby.

But guess what! I now wake up before him! With an alarm! And I look forward to it!

Eww, why? How?

A couple weeks ago I saw a friend post on Instagram about Morning Pages. I did a quick google and realized: I needed to try this. I wouldn’t describe myself as an artist and I feel too shy to call myself a writer, but I could relate to the issues the Morning Pages are said to address.

Morning Pages

What are morning pages? They’re 3 pages of scribbles done first thing in the morning by hand. Before you look at your phone, before you read your Scriptures or even pray, before your mind gets revved up, before everything. I decided to give it a shot. I wanted to take the time in the morning to get my head on straight before I started the day, anyway, and so this seemed like the best way for me to start. So this is what my morning looks like now:

  1. Wake up at 6AM with my quiet birds chirping alarm on my phone.
  2. Quietly roll out of bed an start the kettle IN MY ROOM (because with toddlers and squeaky floors, you gotta keep hidden!)
  3. Start my morning pages, while hovering over the kettle so it doesn’t whistle or click and wake Willy up by the light of my iPhone haha (it’s not as tedious as it sounds).
  4. Make my coffee in the french press because I’m still trying to not wake anyone up.
  5. Finish my 3 morning pages. This means I write everything that comes to mind. The random to-dos that pop up are written down and starred. I write them down as they come – often it’s in the middle of a sentence I’m writing. I write about all the dumb things that are in my head or come into my head until 3 pages is finished. By this point I’ve mostly guzzled my first coffee and I’m awake.
  6. Transfer my to-dos that have come into my mind over to my planner so they don’t get lost.
  7. Open up my devotional and read it. I write out the quote that most stuck out to me into my planner.
  8. It isn’t until I’m done all of this that I get on my phone and check my messages etc.

IMG_0100Guys, it’s been life changing! It’s changed my devotional time because I don’t have all those brain interruptions happening. I’ve already cleaned out the cobwebs of my head and I’ve gotten into a head space that does not involve my phone. I have Do Not Disturb mode on my phone anyway so I’m not notified of any messages or any activity happening that would take my attention.

When I finally leave the room, I’m ready for the day. I’m awake and human again! I don’t find that I’m swept away by the day, living as much in reaction to everything.

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#BBGcommunity

Last fall I saw Morgan post about the workout plan she had been doing. It didn’t take me long to become interested; BBG had all the things I was looking for in a workout routine! I could do it at home and with minimal (or no) extra equipment. I decided that I would try to incorporate the program into my life once I had the baby and was ready to get back into things.

My six week check-up fell perfectly in line with the launch of the January ’12 Week Challenge’. So I hopped on board with a bunch of other girls I know and many I don’t know to give it a whirl. After a few funny texts with some friends, I decided to make an honest fitness Instagram account that didn’t hide the fact that I eat McDonald’s and grunt like I’m giving birth when I do a sit-up. The fitness world can seem so fake and weird. I’m enjoying that I get to do this program from the comfort of my own home but alongside other women in the city and the world from all walks of life and encourage each other on the journey via Instagram. There’s also a lot of avocado toast and fashion sports bras (yeah, I didn’t know that was a thing, either).

Unexpected Benefits

By now you have likely learned that I’m not exactly a health nut. I love junk food and I eat it frequently, with abandon. I still do! However, working out regularly is changing me in ways I find a bit annoying because I LOVE CHIPS. Here are a few of the benefits I did not believe would happen, despite people telling me I should expect these changes:

  • I want to eat veggies and fruit. Veggies have always been a struggle for me. I don’t hate them, I’m just indifferent.
  • I sleep better at night, and I need a shorter (or no) nap during the day. I’ve been saying to Willy for awhile, “If I didn’t need to nap, I could get a whole lot more done during the day.” Well, now I should probably start cleaning my house because I actually have time to. Just kidding, I’ll find something else to do like blog more or read books.
  • I’m more productive. Because I have to fit more into my day, I’ve had to plan more. This, in turn, is making me more productive rather than reactive to things. Ideally, at least. I need to go back to the ol’ days of scheduling all of my life.

To be honest, I used to resent that exercise fixes many of my life problems. I still kind of resent it. I am pretty lazy and love laying around and I don’t (yet) enjoy the workouts. I’m like everyone else who wants an easy solution, but alas that’s not real life.

So if you’re interested in following my real life fitness journey, you can do so by following @realbbglife.

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