How are you doing?

Version 2

Lately, I can’t decide how to answer this question when people ask. This summer has been bizarre. It’s been wonderful to experience life with my son, taking him to the beach for the first time, and going swimming with him etc. He’s such a joy. What makes it bizarre is that despite these swells of happiness and enjoyment I’ve been dealing with post-partum depression.

So when people ask “How are you doing?” I don’t know how to answer. Do they really want to know? Is it over-sharing to tell them right away? Or do I say I’m OK or I’ve been better and then further into the conversation I share what’s really going on. I’m not embarrassed by it — it happens to a lot of women. I’ve been in treatment for a few months now and it’s been going really well. But I have been thinking about a few things, like this blog. One of the things I often face is with goal setting. I talked about this with my therapist this week. If I tend to have too-high standards for myself, how do I know when my goals are too much? It doesn’t seem right to throw them out all together. So what do I do?

The weirdest part of this blog etc. is that I look around me and see people succeeding who have told me that I have inspired them. This is very cool! But it’s also strange knowing that in a few ways I feel stuck, but these other people seem to be flourishing after I have “inspired” them. As you can see I, like so many people, have the tendency to compare. I am “happy” with my life. I am content. I love my family, I love my job, but somewhere between J being born and June my train hopped off the rails. It’s the oddest thing to have this mix of such positive feelings and such lack of motivation, tiredness, etc.

So that’s where I’m at. That’s how I’m doing. It’s why I haven’t been blogging or running. Despite knowing that it’s really really good for my health, I can’t be bothered. But I am colouring…. and people, this is good for my soul! I’m so glad “adult” colouring is a fad right now because it’s the greatest thing!

Where the green grass grows


I saw this quote on Pinterest a few weeks ago that caught my attention. “The grass is greener where you water it.” It’s the perfect picture of cultivating contentment. Water your grass. Water your grass. Cultivate your interests and your talents.

I was talking to a friend this week who has had a similar experience to me in the last year – related to totally different things. Mine was related to grad school. Should I do it? Is it really where my life should head? But no, it’s a bit too much and wouldn’t fit our lifestyle. Does my husband support the idea? Is it just a pipe dream? In the last year and a half I went back and forth several times. Yes, I was going to do it. No, it’s too lofty a goal. But maybe we should look into it? Yes, no, yes, no… then I get pregnant. But the answer is like yes, just not right now.

Her story was about a small personal business. Should she do it? Should she not? She really wanted to, she’d be really good at it! But no, it’s a bit too much and wouldn’t fit their lifestyle. But it would be a really great fit! Would her husband support it? She went back and forth on it until one day she realized… she just had to own the fact that it really was a good fit and she should go for it.

It was kind of fun for me to realize that we had very similar paths to two totally different ends. Never once did we look at the other’s life and think “maybe that’s what I need…” because we’re so different. But it’s not always so easy when you hang out with people who are very similar to you. They may be similar to you, but they aren’t you.

What does this mean for us?

Someone may be able to mentor you to help you get closer to where you want to be. But like Gershwin, they may only be able to mentor you to help you be more like them.

So how can we avoid trying to copy other people’s success and talent and be a better or more “true” version of ourselves?

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